Table of Contents

Introduction 1

Part I: Getting Started on Overcoming Codependency 5

Chapter 1: Codependency Hurts 7

Chapter 2: Somebody Please Tell Me What Codependency Is 29

Chapter 3: Symptoms of Codependency 39

Chapter 4: Crossing De-Nile to Recovery 71

Chapter 5: So, Are You Codependent? 81

Part II: Breakthrough to Recovery — Healing Yourself 89

Chapter 6: Getting Started in Recovery 91

Chapter 7: What Made You Codependent? 99

Chapter 8: Healing Your Wounds — Freeing Your Self 121

Chapter 9: Welcome to the Real You 139

Chapter 10: Building Self-Esteem and Self-Love 155

Chapter 11: Finding Pleasure 177

Part III: Healing Your Relationships with Others 187

Chapter 12: Letting Go and Nonattachment 189

Chapter 13: Speaking Up 211

Chapter 14: Relating to Your Family, Friends, and Lovers 229

Chapter 15: Making Relationships Work 243

Part IV: Moving On and Maintaining Recovery 261

Chapter 16: Following Your Bliss 263

Chapter 17: Where to Get Help 277

Chapter 18: Working the Twelve Steps 285

Chapter 19: Maintaining Recovery 303

Part V: The Part of Tens 315

Chapter 20: Ten Ways to Love Yourself 317

Chapter 21: Ten Daily Reminders 323

Index 329

About the Author

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in relationships and codependency. Ms. Lancer has counseled individuals and couples for 28 years and coaches internationally. She's a sought-after speaker to professionals at national conferences and in the media.