In Way's groundbreaking Deep Secrets, boys who have long been obscured by cultural myths come alive and let us all in on their most promising, most human dimensions. This is a book that should start educators and parents rethinking how we support our sons' lives. -- Michael C. Reichert, coauthor of Reaching Boys, Teaching Boys Way's moving analysis of the intimate lives of boys challenges the reader to reconsider many of the widely held assumptions about what it means to grow up male in America today. By sharing their stories of loss, their fears of rejection, their hopes and dreams of connection, Way introduces us to the world of adolescent males so that we can see them as they are and not as we may have imagined. -- Pedro A. Noguera, author of The Trouble with Black Boys Deep Secrets is a much needed and insightful book. Niobe Way rescues us from the simplistic view that 'boys will be boys' to reveal the depth of boys' emotional lives. From her careful and extensive research over two decades comes a compelling and memorable portrait of real boys' lives. -- Gary Barker, author of Dying to Be Men: Youth, Masculinity, and Social Exclusion The book that changes the discussion about boys. Let the secret out! -- Michael Kaufman, author of Cracking the Armour: Power, Pain, and the Lives of Men
Niobe Way is Professor of Applied Psychology at New York University and director of the Ph.D. program in Developmental Psychology.
[Deep Secrets] offers a surprising glimpse into the hearts of
American boys, revealing a group of lonely young men who crave
acceptance and belonging and deeply miss the friendships of their
childhood...Compulsively readable...Way recounts the hundreds of
interviews her team conducted in American high schools. The voices
present are heartbreakingly authentic in revealing a pattern, a
gradual drift away from "emotionally intimate same-sex friendships"
with other boys and toward a destructive stereotype of manliness
that perpetuate the false notion that "boys are only interested in
one thing."
*Publishers Weekly (starred review)*
The stories that Way and her research team have persuaded boys to
tell are a welcome corrective to the stereotyping of males as
essentially unfeeling and/or incapable of communicating their
feelings, which has been such a striking (and offensive) feature of
recent discourse on gender differences. Way deserves our gratitude
for bringing to the surface what seems lately to have become the
deepest secret of all: that the needs, desires and feelings of boys
and girls, or men and women, are at bottom far more similar than
different.
*Times Higher Education*
Way's book should provide encouragement to parents wondering
whether they are setting their children, especially their sons, up
for abuse by encouraging closeness and defiance of gender
stereotypes, particularly those concerning close same-sex friends.
Way asserts that the need and ability for connection is as keen in
boys as it is in girls, and she backs up her assertion with plenty
of data and close reading of the literature. Connection is not
something one needs to teach, as the author so eloquently
demonstrates; it is something one needs to foster. The text is
beautifully written, and the boys' stories are interspersed with
explanations and discussion substantiated by the literature. A
truly approachable piece of work for a wide audience.
*Choice*
Deep Secrets tells a story of American teenagers in baggy jeans and
T-shirts, with a basketball under the arm, expressing extraordinary
sensitivity and tenderness about their same-sex friends, and
expecting the same in return. The disappearance of this gentle
world, it seems, scars them for life, and appears to do extensive
damage to the culture at large... In short, this is an extremely
important book, a revelation in a way, and one of the most
absorbing academic publications I've ever had the privilege of
reading.
*Taipei Times*
In Way's groundbreaking Deep Secrets, boys who have long been
obscured by cultural myths come alive and let us all in on their
most promising, most human dimensions. This is a book that should
start educators and parents rethinking how we support our sons'
lives.
*Michael C. Reichert, coauthor of Reaching Boys, Teaching
Boys*
The book that changes the discussion about boys. Let the secret
out!
*Michael Kaufman, author of Cracking the Armour: Power, Pain,
and the Lives of Men*
Deep Secrets is a much needed and insightful book. Niobe Way
rescues us from the simplistic view that 'boys will be boys' to
reveal the depth of boys' emotional lives. From her careful and
extensive research over two decades comes a compelling and
memorable portrait of real boys' lives.
*Gary Barker, author of Dying to Be Men: Youth, Masculinity, and
Social Exclusion*
Way's moving analysis of the intimate lives of boys challenges the
reader to reconsider many of the widely held assumptions about what
it means to grow up male in America today. By sharing their stories
of loss, their fears of rejection, their hopes and dreams of
connection, Way introduces us to the world of adolescent males so
that we can see them as they are and not as we may have
imagined.
*Pedro A. Noguera, author of The Trouble with Black Boys*
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