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Bernard Jones and the Temple of Mammon


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Table of Contents

1. Mr Twenty Per Cent 2. Alternative Investment 3. Gales Of Fortune 4. Private Iniquity 5. Bounced Czech 6. Celandine Sunk 7. Gordon Pulls Rank 8. Cosmetic Surgery 9. Courting Trouble 10. Knuckle Sandwich 11. Hacking Jacket 12. Carrot And Stick 13. The Temple Of Mammon 14. Bull In A China Shop 15. Earnings Guidance 16. Kwik Not Saved 17. Party Pooper 18. Password Bingo 19. Racquet And Reckitt 20. Emerald Isle Trial 21. Safe As Houses 22. Carbon Economising 23. Hung Out To Dry 24. Foot And Mouth 25. The Toby Lifeboat 26. Sub-Prime Recipe 27. Sunday Sport 28. Cynthia Shackled 29. Destiny With Pears

About the Author

Nick Louth is a financial journalist, author and investment commentator. He is a former Reuters correspondent, and a regulator contributor to the Financial Times, Investors Chronicle and Money Observer. Nick Louth is married and lives in Lincolnshire. Nick Louth is the author of: -- Multiply Your Money -- Bite -- The Investment Diary of Bernard Jones -- Dunces with Wolves


"The funniest and most realistic book ever written aboutinvestment."- Investors Chronicle"In Bernard Jones, Nick Louth has produced an anti-hero for our financial age. Whether it is fighting his way to a secure retirement, jousting with the council over wheelie bins or feuding with his wife over his fondness for cakes and biscuits, Bernard Jones goes into battle on behalf of us all."- Matthew Vincent, former Editor, Investors Chronicle"Nick Louth delightfully and painfully accurately brings to life the travails of the amateur investor as he tries to make his pension stretch that little bit further. Nick's wry humour and witty focus on human relationships and frailties is a must read and requires no knowledge of finance to enjoy."- Ashley Seager, The Guardian"Just as chick-lit heroine Bridget Jones struggles with men, retired anti-hero Bernard Jones is bemused by the trials and tribulations of investing. Anyone who is a member of an investment club will instantly recognise the characters in this clever, well crafted and highly amusing book."- Brian Durrant, Investment Director, The Fleet Street Letter"Bernard Jones, tried by life, marriage, family, friends and neighbours as much as by investment is a must-read. He's on the way to becoming a minor classic."- Chris Crowcroft, Investors Chronicle reader"I have enjoyed reading Bernard Jones Diary as he attempts to enjoy retirement with a mixture of cunning and (not too much) knowledge. I wish him well."- Eric Cox, Investors Chronicle reader"It's so easy to identify with Bernard Jones and the situations he describes. I almost feel I know him as a friend. His diary is the first page I turn to in the magazine. It is always topical and hugely entertaining."- Leonard Spark, Investors Chronicle reader"Small time investor Bernard Jones juggles with middle age, a wife, a grown up family, an elderly mother, foul neighbours and investments. His only pleasures are his indulgence in secretive sweet treats and a Hornby train set. Life shifts up a gear when a pretty au pair arrives next door."- Joe Vella, Investors Chronicle reader"Bernard and I are soul mates...We share the same hopeless investing traits being driven by misty eyed emotion, alcohol and a love of chocolate rather than the cold logical appraisal of information so beloved by the professionals."- Gordon Gray, New Zealand, Investors Chronicle reader"I have found myself laughing out loud and occasionally in giggles!"- Mark Hobhouse, Investors Chronicle reader"A must read for the private investor...Share the highs and lows of life with Bernard as he battles the twin impostors of triumph and despair (not in equal measure unfortunately)."- Tony Watson, Investors Chronicle reader"Don't miss Bernard's diary, it will brighten your day. This addictive column is so true to life."- Paul Hunt, Investors Chronicle reader

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