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Hello, My Name Is Pabst


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Finally, for alternaparents everywhere, the baby-naming book that will ensure that your baby has the coolest, most unique name on the playground.

About the Author

Miek Bruno and Kerry Sparks work in book publishing at the Levine Greenberg Literary Agency. They don t have children, but you should let them name yours.


"There will be no duplication when you pick a name from Hello, My Name is Pabst."--Parenting

"Hello, My Name is Pabst is a funny and refreshing take on the difficult business of figuring out what to call your child. And what not to call it. Probably shouldn't call your child 'it', actually." --Jeffrey Brown, author of Darth Vader and Son and Cats Are Weird

"Finally, a baby name book that breaks fresh ground for the hipster infants of today, who will rule the kindergarten with names like Zuccotti, Seitan, Fixie or Generic Surplus."--Rob Sheffield, author of Love Is a Mix Tape and Talking to Girls About Duran Duran

In this bizarre compilation of alternative baby names, Bruno and Sparks concern themselves with such issues as whether or not your kid will have a unique username on social networking sites (John Smith probably being taken, they advise) and seem to give much credence to whether or not your friends will be jealous. They also advocate adding, subtracting, and switching letters for new variations on traditional names, e.g., Jaek instead of Jake or Jills instead of Jill. Organized into categories such as "Names That Will Grow Into a Mustache" and "Names That Fit Into Skinny Jeans," readers will find everything from "Zippo" to "Schmatz" (Schmatz? Seriously?). VERDICT This book would make Gwyneth Paltrow blush-no amount of hermeneutics can save it. (c) Copyright 2013. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

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