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I'll Write Your Name on Every Beach


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Table of Contents

Acknowledgements; Preface; Prologue: Happier Days; 1. Stepping into the Wilderness; 2. The Body Takes a Hit: Shock & Tears; 3. What They Say & Don't Say: Dealing with Others; 4. The Unfinished Puzzle: Why and What-if?; 5. Forever 21: Birthdays, Anniversaries & Memorials; 6. Living the Nightmare: Parenting & Family Life; 7. Grief Holiday: Hallmark Occasions; 8. Who Shall Live and Who Shall Die: Spirituality & the Jewish Year; 9. What is Left: Remembering & Forgetting; 10. Soothing our Grieving Selves: Comfort & Healing; 11. The Hard Stuff: Guilt, Anger, Shame & Forgiveness; 12. Inside Out: Mental States & Mental Illness; 13. Phases and Stages: The Passing of Time; 14. Climbing into the Day: Re-integration & Looking Ahead; Beyond Surviving: Suggestions for Survivors by Iris Bolton; References; Recommended Resources on Suicide & Suicide Loss: A Sampling

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A mother's memoir of suicide loss that helps the reader reflect on their own experience of grieving

About the Author

Susan Auerbach is a suicide loss survivor, trained in suicide awareness, gate-keeper crisis intervention and bereavement group facilitation. She is also a Professor of Education at California State University, Northridge.


This book is the eloquent story of one mother's efforts to find her way after the death of her son by suicide, from raw numbness to slow sense-making. Unlike most suicide loss survivor narratives, it is helpfully organized around themes and issues that survivors will inevitably encounter, such as the bodily impact of suicide loss and guilt and responsibility. Who should read this book? Anyone who has lost a loved one to suicide; any parent who has lost a child (to any cause); anyone who wishes to support a suicide loss survivor; and above all, any and every mother who has lost a child to suicide. It will help you navigate your own painful journey towards peace. -- John R. Jordan, Ph.D., psychologist, trainer, international authority on suicide loss, and co-author
Auerbach's intimate, heart-wrenching story of a mother's grief normalizes the grief experience for other suicide loss survivors and creates awareness regarding complicated grief after sudden death. As you read and experience the searing pain, you are led in the end to the promise of renewal--and to a celebration of life. -- Iris Bolton, author and Director Emeritus, The Link Counseling Center and the National Resource Center for Suicide Prevention & Aftercare
What is so special about Auerbach's moving memoir about the suicide of her remarkable son Noah is how he comes across so alive and present. Auerbach is searingly honest, and her observations and practical advice offer hope and comfort to others who are on their own personal journeys of mourning the suicide of their loved ones, especially those with recent loss. -- Carla Fine, author
Auerbach faces down her demons after her father's suicide (when she was 26) and her 21-year-old son Noah's suicide (three years ago) to offer survivors this wide-ranging set of extremely helpful tools - conventional therapeutic aids, journaling, faith, yoga and meditation exercises, and thoughtful introspection - for better coping and healing after suicide loss. -- William Feigelman, Ph.D., author

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