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It Didn't Start with You
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A groundbreaking approach to transforming traumatic legacies passed down in families over generations.

About the Author

Mark Wolynn is a leading expert on inherited family trauma. As director of The Family Constellation Institute in San Francisco, he has trained thousands of clinicians and treated thousands more patients struggling with depression, anxiety, panic disorder, obsessive thoughts, self-harm, chronic pain and illness. A sought-after lecturer, he leads workshops at hospitals, clinics, conferences and teaching centres around the world. He has taught at the University of Pittsburgh, the Western Psychiatric Institute, Kripalu, The Omega Institute, The New York Open Center and The California Institute of Integral Studies. His articles have appeared in Elephant Journal and Psych Central and his poetry has been published The New Yorker.

Reviews

One of The New York Times' 5 Books on Healing from Trauma of 2025
One of Teen Magazine's Top Trending Booktok Favorites of 2025
One of Oprah Daily’s 10 Best Trauma Books of 2023
One of Book Riot’s 9 Best Healing Books about Trauma for 2023
One of Healthline’s 13 Best Mental Health Books of 2022
One of Cosmopolitan’s 15 Books About Mental Health That Everyone Should Read
One of Men’s Health’s 20 Best Mental Health Books to Read in 2022
One of Choosing Therapy’s 10 Best PTSD & Trauma Books for 2021
Winner of the 2016 Nautilus Book Award in Psychology
Finalist for the 2016 Books for a Better Life Award

“This groundbreaking book offers a compelling understanding of inherited trauma and fresh, powerful tools for relieving its suffering. Mark Wolynn is a wise and trustworthy guide on the journey toward healing.”
—Tara Brach, PhD, author of Radical Acceptance and True Refuge

“Mark Wolynn does a masterful job of illuminating the ways in which our ancestors’ unresolved suffering, often unknown to us, disables us and binds us painfully to them. He gives us the tools and skills—an approach that combines understanding, imaginative dialogues, and compassionate reconnection—to free and heal ourselves.”
—James S. Gordon, MD, author of Unstuck: Your Guide to the Seven-Stage Journey Out of Depression

“It Didn’t Start with You takes us a big step forward, advancing the fields of trauma therapy, mindfulness applications, and human understanding. It is a bold, creative, and compassionate work.”
—Sharon Salzberg, author of Lovingkindness and Real Happiness

“Mark Wolynn’s extraordinary book cracks the secret code of families and proves that you can go home again—once you understand how history made you. Full of life-changing stories, powerful insights, and practical tools for personal healing, It Didn't Start With You deserves a place on your bookshelf next to Alice Miller’s The Drama of the Gifted Child and Dan Siegel’s The Developing Mind. You’ll never see your family the same way again.”
—Mark Matousek, author of Ethical Wisdom

“Bridging both neuroscience and psychodynamic thinking, It Didn’t Start with You provides the reader with Mark Wolynn’s hard-earned toolbox of do-it-yourself clinical aids and provocative insights.”
—Jess P. Shatkin, MD, MPH, Vice Chair for Education at NYU Langone Medical Center’s Child Study Center and author of Child & Adolescent Mental Health

“After reading It Didn’t Start with You, I found myself immediately able to apply Mark Wolynn’s techniques with my patients and saw incredible results, in a shorter time than with traditional psychotherapeutic techniques. I encourage you to read this book. It’s truly cutting edge.”
—Alexanndra Kreps, MD

"Mark Wolynn elegantly weaves together the threads of generational and attachment trauma, offering a groundbreaking synthesis of neuroscience, psychology, and lived experience. Drawing on the latest epigenetic research, he provides a powerful trauma language map—a tool to help readers decode their symptoms, trace them to their origins, and begin the journey of healing. This book is full of healing sentences, practices, and rituals that guide readers toward greater awareness, integration, and repair. It is both a compassionate companion and a practical guide for anyone seeking to transform inherited pain into embodied wholeness." —Diane Poole Heller, Ph.D, author of The Power of Attachment and Healing Your Attachment Wounds

"This book is essential reading. A must read. Mark Wolynn’s approach to inherited and early developmental family trauma and its effect on health and wellbeing is groundbreaking."
—Dr. Bruce Hoffman, Medical Director, The Hoffman Centre for Integrative Medicine

"Utterly invaluable and endlessly fascinating, Mark Wolynn’s book, It Didn’t Start With You, links our psychology and biology in a profound new way, giving us the power to understand and transform ourselves in the face of what seems inevitable. Identifying our unconscious loyalties to our ancestor’s trauma through a series of practical questions and exercises, gives us the keys to unlock our own freedom and compassion. Reading this book is like being a part of one of Mark’s transformative workshops, a brave and powerful journey to self-realization."
—Brenda Strong, Emmy Nominated Actress Desperate Housewives, Dallas, 13 Reasons Why, Supergirl, and CEO of Strong Yoga4Women

"As medical doctors, we often treat the symptom. I’ve witnessed Mark identify the pattern and treat the cause."—Dr. Russ Kennedy, author of The Anxiety MD

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