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Ka-Chi-Fo: Good-Bye


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Why me? I was from the other side of the tracks. Growing up in the projects with older and a younger sibling I always felt different. I wasn't, I was the middle child of the last three. There were 12 children. I was shy, quiet, and obedient, unlike some others I knew. I've always had a big imagination seeing all things grand in my world, as a child. I grew up with paper dolls, tea sets and doll houses that I and my sisters played with every day. I loved to attend church with my mom. We all had to go I loved it. The older siblings were married and out of the house with families of their own which left the last 6 three boys and three girls in our quaint little home near the tracks. I grew up with a mother who knew the Lord and that's what I saw growing up. She'd pray early in the morning before getting us up for school with breakfast, sending us out the door before she would leave. I don't know what I didn't have, I know now we were probably what you would call poor. We always had plenty to eat, clothes to wear and a roof over our head. My mother had tapped into the power that God promised and she would spread love to everyone she met. She taught us that God could do anything but fail. I witnessed many miracles growing up. She was a believer in prayer. I came to that knowledge later in life when I came to know Jesus for myself. Being quiet sometimes shy, folks tend to overlook you or dismiss you all together. Mother taught us to stand up, keep your head up and when asked speak up. I grew up loving to read and since Mrs. Winkle's 4th grade class in 1961 wanting to write. After major surgery in 1999 my long-felt dream came to fruition. I published my first poem. When I was presented with writing a book, I hesitated made excuses and was just afraid. I can't I'm not qualified, that's for all those higher learning folks. I had lost my mom a year before I got that call and that didn't make matters any better, I needed to hear her voice that had encouraged me. The voice who had put me in front of a full church to recite long poems at a very young age. There was a song I had to lead most Sundays. I knew every word but the meaning of it I did not until I was in my twenties. Mom was gone and now God was calling me to write, Why? Why had he waited. I continued to study my bible as always and one day the story of Moses had a different meaning to me. Moses made excuses and didn't want to led his people. He didn't want to face the Egyptians after having kill one and ran. God still asked him to lead, I had run out of excuses so I sat down at my computer and began to write. Its strange when you let go and let God. He really is all He says He is. In our weakness He is strong. God had done so many things in my life I knew for myself that He could do it, my skepticism was doing it with me? I didn't feel the part. God knew me, He knew what I would face, and I knew I had to keep my eyes on Jesus. God knows all my flaws. I've come to believe that I am qualified because God called me to it. The fact that I was assigned and chosen by God gives me assurance. Romans 8:30 Moreover whom He did predestinate, them He also called, and whom he called, them He also justified, and whom he justified, them He also glorified. If God be for me who can be against me.

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