Why You Should Read This Book xxv Self Assessment xxxvii ELEMENT ONE BUILD YOUR CONFIDENCE 1 PART ONE KNOW WHO YOU ARE 3 Chapter 1 Be Yourself 5 The High Cost of Conformity, and How to Avoid It Chapter 2 Find Your Ground 9 Stay Steady, Balanced, and Calm Chapter 3 Stay Curious About Yourself 13 How to Ask for Feedback That Will Actually Help You Chapter 4 Access Self-Compassion 17 The Problem with High Expectations Chapter 5 Embrace Your Shadow 21 How to Avoid Becoming the Person You Hate Chapter 6 It's Not All About Achievement 25 Stop Worrying About How Much You Matter PART TWO BECOME WHO YOU WANT TO BE 29 Chapter 7 Find Clarity 31 What's Your One Big Theme? Chapter 8 Become More of Who You Are 35 You're Already Pretty Amazing Chapter 9 Stay Focused 39 You Need to Practice Being Your Future Self Chapter 10 Be Strategic and Intentional 43 Five Steps to Investing Your Energy More Wisely Chapter 11 Don't Lose Yourself in Pursuit of Becoming Yourself 47 Take Your Life Back Chapter 12 How Will You Measure Success? 51 Why You Should Treat Laughter as a Metric ELEMENT TWO CONNECT WITH OTHERS 55 PART ONE BE CURIOUS AND TRUSTING 57 Chapter 13 The Impact of Trust 59 The Real Secret of Thoroughly Excellent Companies Chapter 14 Stay Open 63 How to Really Listen Chapter 15 Stay Curious About Others 67 People Can't Be Summed Up by Personality Tests Chapter 16 Stay Creative 71 Are You Trying to Solve the Wrong Problem? Chapter 17 Be Useful 75 Hold the Baby Chapter 18 Make People Feel Good 79 How Not to Lose a Sale PART TWO BE CLEAR AND TRUSTWORTHY 83 Chapter 19 Everyone Is Contagious 85 How to Use Your Superpower for Good Chapter 20 Use Fear as a Guide 89 How to Talk About What You Most Dread Chapter 21 Lead with the Punchline 93 How to Start a Hard Conversation Chapter 22 Skillful Communication in the Heat of the Moment 97 Outsmart Your Next Angry Outburst Chapter 23 Own Your Stuff 101 I Want You to Apologize Chapter 24 Let Others Know You See Them 105 20 Seconds to a Better Bonus ELEMENT THREE COMMIT TO PURPOSE 109 PART ONE ENERGIZE YOUR FOCUS 111 Chapter 25 Play Hard 113 Nadal Is Strong Enough to Cry; Are You? Chapter 26 Know Where You're Going 117 Define Your Big Arrow Chapter 27 Focus Where It Matters 123 Four Areas to Focus Your Attention Chapter 28 Use Your Focus as a Filter 127 Use Your First Day Back from Vacation to Energize Your Focus Chapter 29 You Can't Say It Enough 131 The Mouthwash Principle: For Energized Focus, Rinse and Repeat Chapter 30 And Sometimes It's Better to Say Less 135 If You Want People to Listen, Stop Talking PART TWO FOCUS THEIR ENERGY 139 Chapter 31 Gifted, Game, and Generous 141 Three Qualities All Leaders Need to Cultivate Within Their Teams Chapter 32 Engage from the Beginning 145 The Farm-to-Table Method of Focusing the Energy of Your Team Chapter 33 Helping Others Be Trustworthy 149 The Secret to Ensuring Follow-Through Chapter 34 Creating Accountability 153 Five Building Blocks for a Culture of Accountability Chapter 35 Bigger Than You 157 Why Leaders Should Try to Be Overwhelmed Chapter 36 Improving Performance After a Critical Error (PACE) 161 How to React When Someone Disappoints ELEMENT FOUR CULTIVATE EMOTIONAL COURAGE 165 PART ONE FEEL COURAGEOUSLY 167 Chapter 37 Know What You Are Feeling 169 Develop Your Awareness Chapter 38 Feeling Is Physical 173 Dance with Your Monster Chapter 39 Practice Feeling 177 Embracing Temptation Chapter 40 Feel Uncertainty 181 The Emotional Adventure of Leadership Chapter 41 Be Willing to Feel the Hard Stuff 185 Why Leaders Must Feel Pain Chapter 42 Feel Everything 189 Allow for Complexity PART TWO ACT BOLDLY 193 Chapter 43 Risk Is the Key to Leadership 195 Unlocking Your Success Equation Chapter 44 Build Your Risk Muscle 199 The Small Personal Risks That Change Behavior Chapter 45 Make a Decision 203 Act Boldly to Get Moving Chapter 46 Risk Truth 207 It's Your Job to Tell the Bold Truths Chapter 47 Try Something Different 211 The Unexpected Power of Inauthenticity Chapter 48 The Limitless Possibility of Now 215 A Question That Can Change Your Life Epilogue 219 Acknowledgments 221 About the Author 223
PETER BREGMAN is the CEO of Bregman Partners, Inc., a company that helps senior leaders create accountability and inspire collective action on their organization's most important work. He is the bestselling author of 18 Minutes: Find Your Focus, Master Distraction, and Get the Right Things Done, named the best business book of the year on NPR, and selected by Publisher's Weekly and the New York Post as a top 10 business book. He is also the author of Four Seconds: All the Time You Need to Replace Counter-Productive Habits with Ones That Really Work, a New York Post top pick for your career in 2015.