Table of Contents

Prologue
Introduction

40 GOOD REASONS NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN
1. The “desire for children”: A silly idea
2. Labour is torture
3. You avoid becoming a walking pacifier
4. You keep having fun
5. Rat race plus rugrats: No thanks!
6. You keep your friends
7. You won’t have to use that idiot language when talking to kids
8. Open the nursery, close the bedroom
9. Kids are the death of desire
10. Kids are the death knell of the couple
11. To be or to do: Don’t decide
12. “The child is a sort of vicious, innately cruel dwarf” (Michel Houellebecq)
13. Kids are conformists
14. Kids are a treasure, and will cost you one
15. Kids are unbiased allies of capitalism
16. A brain teaser: How to keep kids busy
17. The parent’s worst nightmares
18. Don’t be fooled by the “ideal child” illusion
19. Your kid will always disappoint you
20. The horror of becoming a merdeuf
21. Parent above all? No, thank you
22. Keep the experts at bay
23. The family: A horror
24. Don’t revert to childhood
25. It takes real courage to keep saying, “Me first”
26. Kids signal the end of your youthful dreams
27. You can’t stop yourself from wanting your kids to be happy
28. You can’t get away from your kids
29. Get used to it: School is a boot camp
30. “Raise” a child . . . but toward what?
31. Avoid benevolent neutrality like the plague
32. Parenthood is a sad, sweet song
33. Motherhood is a trap for women
34. Motherhood or success: Pick one
35. When the child appears, the father disappears
36. Today’s child is the perfect child: Welcome to the best of all possible worlds
37. Danger, child ahead
38. Why wear yourself out for a future that doesn’t include you?
39. There are too many children in the world
40. Reject the ten absurd commandments of the “good” parent

Conclusion

About the Author

Corinne Maier is the author of the international bestseller Bonjour Paresse (Hello Laziness). She lives in Brussels with her husband and two children, where she is a practicing psychoanalyst.

Reviews

“A combination of tart sisterly advice with shock-tactic social analysis.”
— Globe and Mail

“Maier seems to have that uncanny ability to put her finger exactly on what people are thinking, at the right time and in the right place. Right now, it’s motherhood.”
— The Telegraph