A daring, provocative manifesto on what it means for women to be ‘good’ – and what happens when we stop
Elise Loehnen is the host of Pulling the Thread. She has co-written twelve books, five of which were New York Times bestsellers. Elise was the chief content officer of goop – a lifestyle and e-commerce company – where she co-hosted The goop Podcast and The goop Lab on Netflix. Previously, she was the editorial projects director of Condé Nast Traveler. Elise lives in Los Angeles with her husband and two sons.
In On Our Best Behavior — a raw cri de coeur, penetrating social
analysis, and revealing personal reflection — Elise Loehnen deftly
deconstructs one of the central ideological buttresses of
patriarchal society: the shaming of women for having human desires,
strengths, capacities and strivings of body, mind, and soul. Doing
so, she provides a guide to liberation and a return to the
authentic feminine self.
*Gabor Maté MD, author of THE MYTH OF NORMAL*
A stunning, big and bold encyclopedia of how to live – the first
post-pandemic book to take our latest measurements and provide
something fresh to comfort, embolden, enlighten and enrich who we
are today. Loehnen is never instructive but always right. The book
never flags and each section has a takeaway for how to live wiser,
and an anecdote to help you feel less alone. On Our Best Behavior
is nothing short of a tangible necessity in our new intangible
world
*Lisa Taddeo, author of THREE WOMEN*
With equal parts wit, wisdom, erudition, and warmth, author Elise
Loehnen takes us on a guided journey through history, culture, and
our own psychologies to not just investigate the limiting effects
of Patriarchal thinking in women’s lives, but to free them.
Pleasure, connection, trust, and joy - all these and more await the
reader lucky enough to spend time in conversation with a truly
remarkable mind. Half historical docent, half big sister with a hot
cup of tea, read this author and change your life
*Terrence Real, author of US*
What if women finally found freedom – because we gave it to
ourselves? In On Our Best Behavior, Elise Loehnen brilliantly
reframes our toxic cultural programming and helps us to see that
what we thought were our sins are actually our greatest virtues.
This book is the gift we have all been waiting for
*Lori Gottlieb, author of MAYBE YOU SHOULD TALK TO SOMEONE*
Elise Loehnen is absolutely excellent and this book is one of the
most important books I’ve read in the last decade. It explores some
of the main ways women have been insidiously conditioned
subconsciously and consciously by society and culture. Please read
this book, I found it liberating and we can only change what we are
aware of!
*Poppy Jamie*
A reimagining of our sins on a biblical scale, On Our Best
Behaviour is astute, radical and utterly compelling
*Katherine May*
The feelings On Our Best Behaviour envoked were quite
extraordinary. I turned every page feeling less like I was alone
for thinking so many of my thoughts. I have never read a book that
has so immediately allowed me to feel as though so much of what I
felt I had to do and to be wasn’t what I needed to do and be at
all. This book feels like a long overdue turning point for women. I
know this book, in full, part, or even a line, will allow a shift
in the mind of every woman who has felt or feels she needs to be
GOOD to have the life she wants
*Pippa Vosper, author of BEYOND GRIEF*
This enlightening read explores the ways we learn to practise
self-denials as women through the lends of the seven deadly sins
and the devastating price we pay for it
*Stylist*
Loehnen uses the seven deadly sins to track the ways in which women
are encouraged to mute their own desires. It is a manifesto for
happiness rather than busyness, for pleasure rather than fasting —
a plea to stop racing towards a place that does not exist
*Sunday Times Style*
Beautiful, intelligent, meaningful work
*Shauna Niequist, author of I GUESS I HAVEN'T LEARNED THAT YET*
This is a really important book
*Chelsea Handler*
On Our Best Behavior by the brilliant Elise Loehnen caused a
tectonic shift inside me in terms of how I see myself, my mother,
my daughter, my sister, my friends, and the whole world around me.
It brought so much into crystal clear focus. I was shaking my head
wildly, doing call & response with the pages as I entered each new
chapter in awe and wonder. If clarity, understanding, compassion
and peace are interesting to you, drop everything and read this
book. You will never see “good” the same way again. This book will
set you free
*Jennifer Rudolph Walsh, editor of HUNGRY HEARTS*
Loehnen's book is a whirlwind of fury about the way the Seven
Deadly Sins have been co-opted to keep us small and obedient
*Sunday Telegraph*
The book is engagingly alive to the complexities involved
*Sydney Morning Herald*
You’re going to love this book’s combination of history and
argument and righteousness and kindness
*Cool Story podcast*
Your book, at its essence, is pulling the thread of some pretty
long held beliefs and potentially the fabric of society as we know
it
*ABC Radio Melbourne*
If you are a people pleaser, feel that you sacrifice your own
needs, wants, feelings, and parts of your identity in order to feel
loved and accepted, this book is perfect for you. It would also
suit teenage girls, women in their 20s and anyone questioning their
internal happiness
*Glam Adelaide*
[On Our Best Behaviour] is a thought-provoking read that holds up a
mirror to society . . . I devoured this book, even breaking out the
highlighters and sticky tabs to mark my favourite quotes. It puts
into words experiences I, and many other women, have known but may
not have had the words to articulate until now. An absolute must
read piece of non-fiction this year
*Fashion Journal*
A deep dive into the everyday challenges faced by 30- and
40-something women, and an insightful look into the deeper societal
forces at play. If you are Gen X you will feel
*Primer: 21 of the Best Books We Read This Year*
An engaging work that offers an opportunity for pause and
reflection regarding our daily choices
*Kirkus Reviews*
A deep dive into my own psyche of questioning everything
*The View*
You will finish this book and immediately hand your copy over to
your best friend
*Jennifer Aniston*
A fascinating read . . . it blows your mind. I highly recommend
this book . . . I left feeling energized and galvanized to take
back my true fucking freedom. And I hope it has the same impact on
you
*iWeigh*
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