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Rewriting the Rules


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Table of Contents


List of illustrations ?

Preface: Rewriting Rewriting the Rules ?

1 Rewriting the rules ?

2 Rewriting the rules of yourself ?

3 Rewriting the rules of love ?

4 Rewriting the rules of sex ?

5 Rewriting the rules of gender ?

6 Rewriting the rules of monogamy ?

7 Rewriting the rules of conflict ?

8 Rewriting the rules of break-up ?

9 Rewriting the rules of commitment ?

10 Rewriting your rules ?

Notes ?

Index ?

About the Author

Dr. Meg-John Barker is the author of popular books including Queer: A Graphic History, How to Understand Your Gender, Enjoy Sex (How, When and IF You Want To), The Psychology of Sex, and The Secrets of Enduring Love. They bring years of experience and expertise from therapy, academic research, and working in communities to the topics of sex, gender, and relationships. You can read Meg-John's blog to accompany this book at


"Who gets to write the rules about love and sex and relationships? Meg John Barker tells us that you do. Each of you. Each of us. And then goes on to show us a wide variety of choices of how you might choose to connect with others. Your choices. Whatever choices you have made so far in your life, you have to read this book. Then you can quit questioning yourself and take on the freedom - and responsibility - of living by your own vision, with those you love, as entirely your self."

Dossie Easton, Marriage & Family Therapist, Co-author of The Ethical Slut

"To tackle the dos and don'ts that flood intimate relationships advice, Meg Barker's sharp, insightful, open-minded and friendly guide is here to help you navigate the mazes of modern love. Meg's pen is like a benevolent friend who's hand you don't want to let go. Hold on to Rewriting the Rules."

Esther Perel, Author of Mating in Captivity

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