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Side by Side


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About the Author

Caryl Casbon is a poet & writer, and author of The Everywhere Oracle: A Guided Journey Through Poetry for an Ensouled World (Wyatt-McKenzie Publishing, 2015.) A facilitator through the Center for Courage & Renewal, she has co-written programs dedicated to exploring the inner life, including A Geography of Grace, Befriending the Unknown, The Soul of Aging, and The Anamcara Project and Storybook. She also works as an interfaith minister and spiritual director and has led retreats for over twenty-five years. Jay Casbon retired in 2016 from Oregon State University as the first Provost of the new Bend Campus for Oregon State University after a lifetime of leadership and teaching in higher education, including thirteen years at Lewis and Clark College as dean of graduate studies. Jay also worked internationally in Ecuador, Peru, China, Germany, Austria, and Italy. Throughout his academic tenure, he published numerous scholarly articles. Currently, Jay serves as a consultant for universities addressing the need for redesign. Married since 2001, Caryl & Jay live in Santa Barbara, California. They offer extended learning opportunities for working with couples' groups, online seminars, and in-person retreats. They are both Circle of Trust(R) facilitators prepared by the Center for Courage & Renewal.


MIDWEST BOOK REVIEW: What makes one marriage last and others fail? This book can help answer that question. The guidance and knowledge of thirteen couples tell their story and offer their age-old wisdom on how they learned to adapt and conquer obstacles that threatened to tear them apart. Side by Side is a fascinating reading experience. It made me stop and realize the problems couples face together and how they can keep their love still strong and shining bright. This book would make a wonderful wedding present for all young couples.Side by Side is beautifully written, heartfelt, and profound. All older people now face the loss of the world as we knew it. These stories of marriages can help us understand how to face even the greatest challenges with love, joy, and equanimity.-Mary Pipher, author of A Life in Light and Women Rowing North
We're all just walking each other home," said Ram Dass. Here's a book rich with insights into how aging couples in committed relationships are making that walk in ways that help them find wholeness. The result is a book of honest and heartfelt conversations from which there is much to learn about the ups and downs of intimate love as a vale of soul-making. -Sharon Palmer & Parker J. Palmer, author of Let Your Life Speak and The Courage to Teach
Side by Side unfolds like an adventure and leaves you with so much to think about, individually and together, and so much to live into each irreplaceable day. It even includes abundant resources to use the book in small groups. Highly recommended!-Brian D. McLaren, author of Faith After Doubt
As someone trying to nurture a marriage in mid-life, I found this book so rare, comforting, and revelatory. Finally, real couples talking about the struggles with our shadows, our family of origin conditioning, and the beast of logistics, while also painting a picture of the sacred work of showing up for someone you love...-Courtney E. Martin, author of Learning in Public and The Examined Family newsletter
Each couple's soul story offers pearls of wisdom informed by age and experience. The Readers' Guide is such a thoughtful gift to help us explore our own journey as we step together into this new phase of life.-Helen Davidson, blogger & life-story facilitator for older women at AgelessPossibilities.org
Although Side by Side focuses on aging couples, still the wisdom of this book, and the stories shared, offer so much for couples at any stage in their relationship, even those just beginning their marriage journey. Embracing the adage, "begin as you mean to go on," Side by Side should become required reading for every new couple I meet with.-The Rev. Elizabeth Molitors, Rector, Trinity Episcopal Church, Santa Barbara, California
The Casbons show us how beautiful healing can happen when soulmates show up fully to support each other's spiritual growth. Thanks to these wise couples, we can all learn more about walking the path of Love amidst the mundane and meaningful challenges of partnerships, aging, and simply being human.-Christine Love-MacLeod & Ainslie MacLeod, author of The Instruction and The Old Soul's Guidebook
Side by Side shares moving stories about couples who see relationship as well as aging as paths for spiritual growth and who dance with the gifts and challenges of sacred relationship.-Heather Ensworth PhD, author of Finding Our Center and co-author of From Trauma to Healing

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