Preface. 1. What is shame? 2. What is the impact of shame? 3. The neurobiology of shame. 4. How do children get shamed? 5. Shame symptoms: a) hiding, masks, silence and sorry. 6. Shame symptoms: b) deceit, lying, critical of others and projection. 7. Shame symptoms: c) self hatred, self rejection and anger. 8. Shame symptoms: d) emotional shut down, dissociation & confusion. 9. How can we help heal shame? 10. Building shame resilience. Conclusion.
A simple guide to the essential knowledge adults need to support children affected by shame.
Betsy de Thierry is a practising psychotherapist and with over 30 years of experience and knowledge within the field of Complex Trauma & navigating Trauma Recovery. She is the founder of Trauma Recovery Global, which provides training and consultancy and partnerships with select organisations and practitioners to licence her Trauma Recovery Focused Model (TRFM) in 34 nations. She is also the founder of the Trauma Recovery Centre (TRC), a charity specialising in recovery from complex trauma and the founder of CTRN (Childhood Trauma Recovery Network UK). Betsy is also a qualified primary school teacher and is a mum of four brilliant sons.
Another brilliant book by Betsy de Thierry. Shame is such a crucial
area and emotion, however one that is often overlooked. Therefore
it is great to see a book that offers a deeper understanding and
practical ideas for support around shame. This book is written in
an accessible, engaging, and informative way. The doodles and
reflective questions are fantastic too. A welcome addition to any
book shelf!
*Karen Treisman*
Thorough, underpinned by extensive researched and well
articulated.
de Thierry manages to write a short guide about shame, a
challenging task but one very well executed. If you're looking to
understand shame, how it seeps into our being from a very young age
and how 'toxic shame can be like a poison in our subconscious',
then this guide is for you. For parents, educators, therapists and
social workers, this guide is an essential starting point pulling
together all the latest knowledge, research and experience.
*Lisa Cherry, BA (Hons) Sociology, ITEC Dip HM, S.A.C. Dip., Life
Coaching and Counselling, Reiki Master*
The Simple Guide to Understanding Shame in Children by Betsy de
Thierry is thoughtful insight into how shame has such a pervading
hold on us all, sometimes with disastrous consequences. De Thierry
argues that feelings of shame are often at the root of unhelpful
behaviours and linked to a primeval fear we may be abandoned or
rejected by our tribe or society. Unwittingly, though, it remains a
thread that runs through traditional parenting and the education
system, driving the sensitive child towards shame rather than away
from it and cutting off crucial relationships with others. The
Simple Guide to Understanding Shame in Children by Betsy de Thierry
is an important read for adoptive parents and those working with
children who may already be sensitive to shame due to damaging life
experiences. This book provides a key to understanding the
sometimes bewildering and distressing behaviours by those locked in
the grip of shame.
*Jill Turner, Editor, Adoption Today*
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