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The State of Affairs


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About the Author

Esther Perel is a couples and family therapist with a private practice in New York City. She is on the faculty of the International Trauma Studies program at Columbia University, is a member of the American Family Therapy Academy, and has appeared on many television programs, including The Oprah Winfrey Show, Good Day New York, CBS This Morning, and HBO's Women Aloud. She lives in New York City with her husband and two children.


"Sexologist Perel, a marriage crisis 'first responder, ' excavates the messy psychology of infidelity, digging into such charged topics as the 'new shame' of wives--staying with a cheater--and why even happy partners sometimes stray."--O Magazine, 10 Books To Pick Up Now
"[Perel is] a genius in this area of understanding deep relationships."--Tony Robbins, The Tony Robbins Podcast
"It's the knowledge and research Perel has amassed on infidelity over the years, through her work as a couple's therapist, that's most compelling.... Perel is defiantly non-judgmental."--Telegraph (UK)
"[Perel] is the real deal and very, very insightful.... Highly recommend [The State of Affairs]."--Tim Ferriss, The Tim Ferriss Show
"Ms. Perel doesn't recommend that couples be unfaithful--far from it. But she thinks that affairs can happen in stable, happy marriages, and that they often have more to do with a person than a relationship."--Wall Street Journal
"Perel takes a peel-the-layers approach to infidelity that surprises on every page.... [She] weaves together a collection of personal stories that is both thrilling (you feel like you're eavesdropping) and moving."--Goop
"[Perel] uses her findings to confront some of the most controversial and uncomfortable topics.... Here is a woman who, after spending three decades listening to tales of lies, pain and illicit sex, still believes in our ability to love and be loved in an honest, nuanced way."--RED Magazine
"Excellent."--Nasty Galaxy, the Nasty Gal blog
"She has an incredible ability to speak the truth in a way that cuts you to the core and also makes you feel safe to explore topics we usually don't talk about."--Lewis Howes, The School of Greatness podcast
"Perel suggests that one factor driving infidelity in otherwise happy marriages is the fact that we rely on our spouse for too much, particularly too much in our own quest for self-discovery."--New York Post
"If anyone knows the varied ways cheating can impact a marriage, it's Esther Perel."--Health magazine
"Sure to get a lot of people talking."--Megyn Kelly on Megyn Kelly TODAY
"One of the most respected voices on erotic intelligence, she views sexuality as a lens through which to examine the progressive or conservative forces at work in a society."--The Georgia Straight
"It's fascinating because it makes you question your beliefs on the nature of adultery when you view it in a less one-dimensional way."--The Times (UK)
"Perel proposes a radically new way of thinking about infidelity that goes beyond the havoc it wreaks and drills down to its motives."--The Globe and Mail (Canada)
"The State of Affairs examines infidelity from all points of view - the person who cheated, the person who was cheated on, and the third party - in an attempt to understand how to make modern relationships more resilient."--Washington Post
"Perel takes an unconventional look at infidelity."--Associated Press
"Perel uses conversation, knowledge, intuition, and creativity to make incisive interpretations that, at their most elegant, are not only helpful but artful. Listening to these sessions is deeply provoking."--Slate on podcast Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel
"Unfailingly empathetic.... The State of Affairs is packed with such sage insights.... Through her formidable elegance, Perel manages to infuse some dignity into the pettiness of most betrayals."--Bookforum
"With a Francophone accent that sounds just as knowledgeable as it does erotic, to say Perel is easy on the ears is an understatement."--Vogue on podcast Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel
"There's a reason Esther Perel is the sex expert people can't stop reading: she gets results."--The Leslie Roberts Show
"This is an addictive read. Beautifully written by Esther Perel, author of bestseller Mating in Captivity, [The State of Affairs] delves into the murky world, of deceit, betrayal and ultimate pain."--Starts at 60 (Australia)
"Perel is a master at what she does."--The New Yorker on podcast Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel
"The Book is sure to spark intelligent conversations that will have readers everywhere examining their belief systems... A thought-provoking take on relationships and essential reading for couples dealing with infidelity." --Publishers Weekly
"Esther Perel is America's first clear-eyed public intellectual on love."--Quartz
"Esther Perel is widely recognized as the world's leading expert on marriage."--Sunday Times Style by The Times of London
"Esther Perel is one of the most influential and well-known psychotherapists in the world. Through TED Talks, best-selling books, a podcast (Where Should We Begin?), and her clinical practice in New York City, she explores the one subject she believes interests every human: relationships."--The Cut, New York Magazine
"[One of the] best books of 2017... In The State of Affairs, Perel explores a vast landscape of the adulterous terrain... in a way that's deeply humane and never preachy."--NPR's Guide to 2017's Greatest Reads
"As someone so completely plugged into the world of relationships, it makes sense that Perel would have some incredible insight into the most important one of all: the relationship we have with ourselves."--Shondaland
"[Perel] deals with the mess and pain of fractured relationships with searing honesty, astute observations and compassion... If your marriage were in trouble, you'd want her help."--Guardian (UK)

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