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The Upside of Shame


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About the Author

Vernon C. Kelly, Jr. has been in the private practice of psychiatry since 1975. He specializes in the treatment of emotional disorders in adolescents, adults, and relationships. He was the co-founder of the Silvan S. Tomkins Institute with Donald L. Nathanson and subsequently served as Chairman of that organization. Working with Silvan Tomkins, he developed an affect-based definition of emotional intimacy and innovative methods of couples treatment. He has been invited to teach about affect and emotion in Australia, New Zealand, Norway, Canada, and the USA. His written works include The Art of Intimacy and the Hidden Challenge of Shame and a book co-edited with Margaret Thorsborne, The Psychology of Emotion in Restorative Practice. Mary Lamia is a professor in the doctoral program of the Wright Institute in Berkeley and has a private practice in Kentfield, California. Her career-long passion for encouraging emotional awareness in adults, adolescents, and pre-teens is exemplified by her books. She is the author of Emotions! Making Sense of Your Feelings; Understanding Myself: A Kid's Guide to Intense Emotions and Strong Feelings; and What Motivates Getting Things Done: Procrastination, Emotions, and Success. She co-authored The White Knight Syndrome: Rescuing Yourself from Your Need to Rescue Others. Her blog posts for Psychology Today and Therapy Today websites illustrate her endeavor to convey an understanding of emotion and its significant role in who we become.


The Upside of Shame offers not just a paradigm shift in how we think about shame, but a profoundly useful tool in a clinical setting - one that is indispensable in motivating connection, attachment, and the positive emotional states we all desire. It is a book that anyone seeking a better understanding of the human condition should read.

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